POSA™ Blog

PoSARC or The Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center educates, nurtures and helps partners work with the challenges of being coupled with a sexually deceptive, chronic cheater.

Finding Gratitude this Thanksgiving

Finding Gratitude this Thanksgiving

The learning curve for partners finding out about their mate's deceptive sexual behaviors is steep indeed.
When we stop and consider all that a partner has to learn just to survive the betrayal trauma, it's rather staggering. Then, generating all of what's necessary to move from barely surviving to finally entering more ease and well-being, however long that takes, it should be enough to invoke awe in anyone privy to that partner's experience.

As I contemplated all this today after a client's session finished here,
I thought about how far this client had come and how much grace she had acquired after learning how to survive in the hostile territory that her husband's repeated betrayals and manipulations had landed her in.

I got to thinking how fortunate I was to witness her soul-deepening process.
It hasn't been even a tiny bit easy for her; partners stories never are.

Recent Comments
Patt Bothel
You know, I thought I set this up to only show my first name. But there it is. I don't need to hide. This is not my shame. Dea... Read More
Tuesday, 27 December 2016 22:50
Laura
Reading this today did make me realize how grateful I am for the incredible progress I have made, with many helpers such as this s... Read More
Friday, 25 November 2016 04:57
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3 Simple Tools to Calm the Nervous System after Infidelity Discoveries, Triggers or Other Dysregulating Events

3 Simple Tools to Calm the Nervous System after Infidelity Discoveries, Triggers or Other Dysregulating Events

Anger, hopelessness, despair, panic, rage and other "dark" emotions can hijack our nervous systems whenever we are overwhelmed. Those who have struggled with betrayal trauma know this territory all too well.

Overwhelm can come due to a new discovery about our mates' secretive sexual behaviors, it can overtake us when we witness a natural disaster such as an earthquake, widfire or hurricane or it can be due to a political system in distress or transition, as what just happened here in the United States as well as recently in Britain.

I think it's worth taking note of, that no matter which half of the country (USA) one currently feels aligned with, that still leaves roughly half the population that is angry, feels resentful, disappointed, etc. In other words, there is a lot of activation in the environment, regardless of whether your side "won" or not, or whether you participated in voting or not.

The difficult fact is, we now live in a super-charged climate that has the ability to dysregulate our emotional systems whenever we have to interact with the outside world.

So how do we do that without insisting on isolating ourselves inside our own tribe of like-minded others?

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