POSA™ Blog

PoSARC or The Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center educates, nurtures and helps partners work with the challenges of being coupled with a sexually deceptive, chronic cheater.

Our Review of A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal


A few weeks ago in The New York Times, reviewer Meghan Daum writes up a new book dealing with infidelity discovered by a trusting wife (author Jen Waite) and the fall-out from that, as well as the steps out of her private hell with her chronic cheater. From the New York Times review of A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal:

"Author Jen Waite retraces her steps through a relationship that first gives her the "strange sensation of seeing the world in color for the first time"  but eventually reveals itself to be a series of setups at the hands of a master manipulator….the memoir is a study in "gas lighting"—making someone feel that she is crazy or only imagining things….
Waite has a knack for showing the ways that cognitive dissonance can chart pathways in the mind that cause emotional confusion to obscure rational thought…
By the end, she has decided to pursue a degree to become a therapist specializing in women recovering from sociopathic relationships…the book works best when Waite is sharing what she learns about destructive personality disorders and what makes certain people vulnerable to those that have them.
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LUST VIRUS - A Book Review

LUST VIRUS - A Book Review

"Each week, the PoSARC inbox is filled with all kinds of e-mails requesting help. But hands down, our largest percentage of mail contains questions directed to the small handful of addicts in recovery I work with who occasionally donate their time to answer the questions I put before them. What I glean from reading all of these e-mails is what I call the million-dollar question: "How can you (the sex addict) do these behaviors when you're in a relationship? What were you thinking?"

I always feel a little saner when I read those because it helps me know that I wasn't the only one who was beyond vexed by this right after Discovery and in the next few years afterwards.

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CANDEO: Our Favorite Sex Addiction Recovery Program

Since Posarc is a site dedicated to the partners of sex addicts, you may be wondering why we include some resources for the addicts as well. Here's why:
I frequently receive mail from partners (of sexual compulsives) who ask me for my opinion on everything recovery-related. My private clients as well, whom I do Recovery Coaching or Consulting with, ask me for my preferences in recovery materials for their addicted spouses.

I want to be able to direct seekers to help when they ask for it. And--please note:
I do not receive any benefits whatsoever for promoting the resources that I do. It's also the reason you'll notice my website is free of all advertising.

Therefore, if you find a resource on this site, be assured that it's here because I have personally road-tested this resource or watched the effects of said resource closely on those I know well who were using it, not because it's my uncle's company or because I'm getting a trip to Florida in January out of it. Though Florida does sound alluring this time of year!

So let me introduce what I consider to be a great online porn and sex-addiction recovery tool: CANDEO.

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PoSARC reviews Thanks for Sharing

I think it is courageous to produce a mainstream film about the recovery from sex addiction.

Recently, a recovery coaching client of mine asked me if I thought the movie Shame(2011)would be suitable to show her family and friends as a way of inviting them to understand the hell she has been living in, as the wife of an intransigent sex addict. I told her no, for many reasons that I won't go into here. But my client's question did get me thinking that there hasn't yet been a film that can elucidate what we go through as POSAs. This film, Thanks for Sharing, does express this perspective and yet, does not fit that bill all that well either. I'll explain:

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