Discovery Of Infidelity

downward sunflower

If what you have believed to be reality within your intimate relationship is crumbling and shattering before your eyes, then with a fair degree of certainty, you are experiencing a trauma, a rupture of your primary relational attachment. Maintaining your sanity and deciding what to do has become your greatest need.

What you can expect to feel initially

Suppose that you open an odd file whose title seems a bit out of place at the computer you both share. You stare in disbelief as image after image of pornographic video clips from your partner's hidden file uploads.

Here is one possible scenario: your jaw drops open, and you experience a deluge of very strong emotions, often simultaneously, or so it feels. Shock is the first one. Next might be: dread, very strong fear, humiliation, disgust, hopelessness, self-devaluation, rejection, disbelief, anger, disassociation, the pain of knowing you have been deceived, rage, despair, depression. You struggle to maintain your equilibrium even as you have to remind yourself to breathe. Your mind fires a barrage of questions at you, as if shot out of a gun: How long has this been going on? What else is stashed here or elsewhere in another computer? Is my partner some kind of out-of-control addict or is this just extremely bad behavior? These girls (or boys) are so young! Could my partner be on their way to pedophilia? What if it's not just pornography and this is just the tip of an iceberg? What if I discover hidden email accounts filled with sexual hookup partners? Who is my partner, anyway?

If you have discovered your mate's secret sexual behaviors, whether it's pornography, escort service use, strip clubs, affairs or whatever else he may have deceived you with (or confessed about), you are likely experiencing the shock of betrayal trauma. As many as 70% of partners experience various layers of trauma upon discovering their Betraying Partner's hidden sexual behaviors. In the e-book we have written about Discovery of Infidelity and What to Expect, you can learn much more to help guide you through the maze of terribly difficult feelings and confusion, so you can make better choices armed with knowledge. To learn more, click here.....