Interpersonal Relational Trauma: (IRT)
The exploitative harm done to one person by another in a marital/primary relationship through any form of abuse, betrayal, sexually compulsive behavior, is known as Interpersonal Relational Trauma. A form of PTSD, it's important to know how it affects you. Trauma recovery requires re-establishing your safety.
Deceptive sexual compulsivity is a relational betrayal because the Betraying Partner's primary loyalty has devolved from a loving relationship with you into a compulsion to secure his access to his favored sexual activity outside your partnership.
Their primary relationship is now with the sexual activity for the feelings it provides (power, control, parity, omnipotence) and not with you. At best, you—his partner—are a distant second place, the compulsion is solidly first. Much of their energy and attention is frequently devoted to the pursuit of the compulsion so you may feel that you and your needs or the relationship itself are not at all important to him. Understanding how Interpersonal Relational Trauma affects partners, and which factors affect the severity of it are important to educate yourself about. We wrote an e-booklet to help guide your understanding of this trauma. To learn more about Hidden Sexual Behaviors and Interpersonal Relational Trauma, click here.