POSA™ Blog

I have to thank a generous PoSARC reader in the Northwest for recently sending me a wonderful article titled: X is for X-Rated, which offered up some surprisingly fresh insights about the impact of pornography use on relationships with self and partners.

I don't normally link to outside blogs since I enjoy writing my own material here, but this article isn't one our readers will want to miss. Not only that, it's one you might want to share with your partner as well.

The writer, Zach Brittle, a couples therapist, deftly deconstructs the myths perpetuated by pornography use: the myth of perfection, the myth of ease, the myth of privacy and the myth of escape - and he does so in language that feels light yet substantive at the same time.

I hear from many partners of those who've been chronically cheated on who express needing local support and encouragement from other POSAs ---but--- something gets in their way- either they feel they have to be strong already in order to start their own support group, or else they're afraid that a meeting may be way more involved than they have energy or time for.

So we created a short video that answers some of those concerns and helps you get a better sense of, well, how to get a meeting going and how they work best. 

This online Forum on Reddit is for porn addicts who wish to stop PMO (their acronym for porn-masturbation-orgasm) and seek support and encouragement from one another. It is an open forum and a colleague of mine sent me this poignant Comment posted by a porn addict in recovery for a few months now:

I was struck yesterday by virgins talking about their porn use. It made me think about my childhood. Back then porn was something that people did watch and consume but it came with a great stigma. Few decent family men or even virgin men would walk into a video rental and rent porn. They might come into a possession of a porn mag or two. But even that was something that people were ashamed of.

Whenever any good news comes my way related to sex addicts recovering, I like to report it. It's hard enough getting hopeless and depressed by the amount of sexual acting out going on in the culture. That's why I'm inspired whenever I learn that thereare those addicts who want this affliction behind them, who are keenly aware of how it's damaged themselves and others.

The young artist who wrote the song in the video here, Jason Chu, is one such man. He writes candidly about first becoming hooked at 11 years old by the "angels" in lingerie store windows at the mall and then about his subsequent fall into pornography addiction.
(I know none of you know the name of the mega-chain of lingerie stores he's referring to when he mentions "angels". Nope, not a one of you.)

"Each week, the PoSARC inbox is filled with all kinds of e-mails requesting help. But hands down, our largest percentage of mail contains questions directed to the small handful of addicts in recovery I work with who occasionally donate their time to answer the questions I put before them. What I glean from reading all of these e-mails is what I call the million-dollar question: "How can you (the sex addict) do these behaviors when you're in a relationship? What were you thinking?"

I always feel a little saner when I read those because it helps me know that I wasn't the only one who was beyond vexed by this right after Discovery and in the next few years afterwards.

Here's a wonderfully researched article on the way pornography is affecting our young people. Some of you may remember the journalist, Sara Israelson-Hartley, from her interviewing me in The Deseret News here:

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865582633/Second-hand-porn-the-spreading-circle-of-damage.html

This week, she explores the tragic facts behind how early the kids are that pornography is finding through subversive means....pop-up ads, mouse-trapping and using the most commonly mis-spelled words that kids type into google to then open up pornography teasers to get kids to click onto the actual porn sites.

If you are a parent, or are concerned about how our youth's sexuality is being hijacked by the commercial pornography market, this article will be of interest to you.

And here's a big shout out to Sara for her formidable efforts to keep us all informed about this gigantic elephant in our societal living rooms.

Thank you, Sara!

FROM EX MEN'S MAG EDITOR MARTIN DAUBNEY:

PoSARC Note: Presented by DailyMail.co.uk , By MARTIN DAUBNEY but we assure you it works the same everywhere !!!

The moment I knew internet pornography had cast its dark shadow over the lives of millions of ordinary British teenagers will live with me forever.

I was sitting in the smart drama hall of a specialist sports college in the North of England with a fantastic reputation.

Before me were a group of 20 boys and girls, aged 13-14. Largely white, working class children, they were well turned-out, polite, giggly and shy.

As the presenter of a Channel 4 documentary called Porn On The Brain, airing next Monday at 10pm, I'd been invited to sit in on a forward-thinking class led by sex education consultant Jonny Hunt, who is regularly asked into schools to discuss sex and relationships. To establish what these kids knew about sex - including pornography - he had asked the children to write an A-Z list of the sexual terms they knew, no matter how extreme.

FROM DAILY INFOGRAPHIC

Online pornography is a multibillion dollar industry where every second over 3000 dollars are spent and almost 30,000 people are fapping. Those are astounding numbers and the profits of the pornographic firms only prove those points more.