I Watched You Walk Away From Me

One of our PoSARC readers shared that, for her, writing poetry helps her to become aware of and start processing through the agonizing realities of her life as a POSA. She has written many poems and sent quite a few to us; this is one of my favorites.

It captures one of the most painful aspects of his behavior that a wife can endure and evokes such stark elements found in nature.

I Watched You Walk Away From Me
by Ellie D.

I watched you walk away from me
but you were already gone.

One day I turned and looked at you
and you had turned to stone.

I reached out to touch you
and you crumbled in the air.

As though you'd never been there,
as if you never cared.

If I'd thrown salt behind me
If I'd turned around three times,
If I'd crossed my heart and hoped to die
would I have seen the signs?

How did I watch you
fade before my eyes?

How could I fail to see that
the words you said were lies.

So how can I trust you
when I don't know who you are?

We've traveled down this road together,
and we've come so far.

But everything I thought I knew
has crumbled into dust.

Will there ever be a time
when I can learn to trust?

That what I see before me
is not a figment made of sand,

that you have a heart that you can share,
that I can understand?

If I'd thrown salt behind me
If I'd turned around three times,
If I'd crossed my heart and hoped to die
would I have seen the signs?

I watched you walk away from me
Now can you turn around?

Can you look within yourself?
Can your heart be found?

I have to say, I am always inspired by how creative partners often are, especially in the midst of their own turmoil at home. In fact, I'd like to write a blog post on this creative process and where it takes POSAs who are starting to feel their way through the storms in their relationships.

And being a songwriter myself, whenever I read this poem, I can almost hear this as a beautiful ballad — I hear chords forming, a tune starting to rise up out of Ellie's words. Any other songwriters out there?

We would love to hear if, and how this poem moves you, our readers. Have you ever felt stripped down to the bare, raw elements referenced here during some of your own dark days as a partner?

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