Listening to Shame with Dr. Brene Brown
Running time: 20:20
Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Dr. Brene Brown, whose talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word.
We at Posarc feel strongly that recognizing and then healing shame should be a cornerstone in the recovery process of any sex addict/compulsive (SAC) or the partner of a sex addict/compulsive (PoSA). Without addressing underlying shame, self-destructive behavior can unwittingly resurface in other forms even after the 'original' addiction has been arrested. Even though to date, this topic isn't spoken about much in the recovery field, we hope it will be common knowledge soon....till then, educate yourself about this silent saboteur of recovery and relationships.
On Vulnerability with Dr. Brene Brown
Running time: 20:38
Dr. Brene Brown studies human connection-- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a funny, poignant TED talk in Houston, she shares deep insight from her research, which sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. Dr. Brown also studies vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame.
At Posarc we often wonder what components comprise a healthy, comprehensive recovery of mind, spirit and heart. Vulnerability, the courage to be truly seen as we are, despite our fear of ridicule or of being seen as weak, is one of the keys of strong recovery for all of us, SACs and PoSAs alike.
Things You Didn't Know About Porn - Part 1 (by Healing Relationships)
Running time: 9:24
Things You Didn't Know About Porn - Part 2 (by Healing Relationships)
Running time: 9:49
Things You Didn't Know About Porn - Part 3 (by Healing Relationships)
Running time: 7:00
We at PoSARC deal primarily with the pernicious effects of porn addiction on partners of compulsives/ addicts and not on youngsters, BUT-we felt this set of videos was too good to pass up. This three-part series helps kids and parents understand the effects of porn viewing. Complete with wonderful visuals, this series is narrated by an Englishman with a great voice, and of course, everything sounds so much better in that crisp, clean British accent! We also appreciate the emphasis the series places on forming REAL relationships and how porn will most certainly undercut those efforts at an age when it's critical to learn relationship skills.
We wish this series was required viewing in every classroom in America! I (Lili) personally favor the education of our young people as to the dangers of porn, since it saddens me to think of what relationships will look like in 10-15 years when this generation of teenagers will be starting to manifest the side effects of porn consumption. So, we're going to do our part!
––Lili
Why Is Porn A Growing Problem? (by Out In The Light)
Running time: 1:56
In this video clip, Dr. Manning speaks about sexuality as a life-enhancing and a gift but that it's lost it's place in a society which is increasingly dysfunctional in it's view of sexuality. Porn, she states, is a symptom of that imbalance. The growing porn epidemic also reflects an overall decline in morality and an increase in misogyny.
Jill C. Manning, Ph.D, is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in research and clinical work related to pornography and its impact on marriages and families. She was selected to be a visiting Social Science Fellow of the Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C., and as a result, testified before a Senate sub-committee on the harms of pornography. She is the author of "What the Big Deal about Pornography; A Guide for the Internet Generation".
––Lili
"The Brain That Changes Itself" full show (by Dr. Norman Doidge)
Entire clip's running time: 26:54 Segment directly referencing porn addiction is 16:10-19:50
One of my absolute favorite authors on the subject of brain science/ neuroplasticity is Dr. Norman Doidge. He is a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, researcher, author, essayist and poet. He is on the Research Faculty at Columbia University's Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research, in New York, and the University of Toronto's Department of Psychiatry. He is interviewed here about his bestselling book, The Brain That Changes Itself. The entire clip is fascinating if brain plasticity is your interest, but if you forward the clip to 16.00 and let it play until 19.50 or so, he directly addresses how the brain of porn-addicted men he's treated were being shaped by that Internet porn viewing, as well as how 'unusual' fetishes can develop.
Please note: Even better than this clip is the actual book of the same title. Most highly recommended is the chapter therein named: "Acquiring Tastes and Loves." In this chapter, Dr. Doidge explains the factors at work when viewing porn repeatedly- how it literally rewires the brain and often unwittingly takes men into directions they themselves had never planned on, including disenchantment with their real-life partners, interest in material that actually disgusted or shocked them even as it excited them and the development of fetishes. Ever wonder how something that starts as a "curiosity" ends up as an addiction? Well, it's all right here in this one little chapter. For my money, empirical research from a doctor with sterling credentials just doesn't get much better than this, and it's easily readable, too.
––Lili
Naked and Unashamed Conference Excerpt (by That Man Is You)
Running time: 9:49
This clip portrays the raw pain the wife of a porn addict goes through. She articulates the feelings that accompany, in her words, "being replaceable"....by her husband's porn addiction.
The husband also speaks about how his allegiance to porn insidiously hijacked his value system entirely, causing him to plan on leaving his pregnant wife and continue his lifestyle without the concomitant conflicts that being married & a father would bring him. I found it harrowing to see the true, deleterious effects of porn creeping in and nearly destroying this marriage.
Also on this clip is a rather chilling account given by an ex-Playboy photographer, of some of the tricks used to lure girls into the porn industry. Additionally, there is a small segment on the abuses and horrors of making porn, attested to by an ex-porn star.
The net effect of this clip is that porn is NOT a harmless past-time. Not for those who view it compulsively, are coupled with those addicted to it, or those who star in it or produce it. It's a brutal business that takes no quarter.
––Lili
Your Brain on Porn (by Gary Wilson, yourbrainonporn.com)
Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction (Part 1) Running time: 10:56
Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction (Part 2) Running time: 13:43
Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction (Part 3) Running time: 13:54
Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction (Part 4) Running time: 12:04
Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction (Part 5) Running time: 11:28
Your Brain On Porn: Porn Addiction (Part 6) Running time: 07:06
We appreciate the educational value of watching these sequential clips that scientifically illustrate the way the brain changes when rewarded with dopamine and other feel-good chemicals, which is what happens when porn is viewed. This series explains why this experience, which usually begins with innocent-enough curiosity, so easily slides into compulsion/ addiction.
We appreciate the non-shaming approach used here, which can be most helpful since most SACs are already shame-based and that itself can cripple their embracing of recovery for themselves. This presentation can help alleviate guilt/ shame for the SAC who can't understand why he is the way he is or behaves the way he does. Here, he is offered scientific reasoning which can help him release the self-imposed stigma that he is sick, perverted or morally bankrupt.
The science teacher presenting this series even goes so far as to make the claim that we are neurologically wired to become addicted to Internet Porn. How so? Because porn viewing dupes the brain through the continued use (abuse?) of the reward pathways into believing it's propagating its' genetics far and wide, supposedly an evolutionary tactic our ancestors had to use for our species to survive the many hardships of life back then.
We at PoSARC are not going to argue evolution vs. creation, but we are interested in seeing via easy-to-comprehend brain models and explanations, just WHY porn addiction is so dang stubborn and sabotages the user's often desperate attempts to quit viewing it. Similarly, when someone fully understands why they're behaving the way they are, they can be empowered to make real choices for permanent change that is truly in accord with their value systems.
Please take into consideration that this is a SCIENTIFIC presentation and as such, it may conflict with your religious convictions. Proceed (or not) accordingly. Total Running time is a little over 1 hour.
––Lili
An Interview with Porn (by FightTheNewDrug.com)
Running time: 5:34
A cleverly staged "interview" with the personification of Porn that Terre was excited to find!
We love this beautifully designed, creative site...the enthusiasm of it's non-judgmental, Pro-free-speech creators is infectious! Lots of good, solid information on porn addiction, too. -- Terre
Dear Woman (by consciousmen.com)
Running time: 8:23
Get a Kleenex ready for watching this youtube clip...it's a truly inspirational group of evolved men promising to do their part to end the misery men have imposed on women globally throughout history. Very moving. We want to thank this group of men for this educational clip; maybe you'll feel similarly inspired!
––Lili
"Based on the "Manifesto for Conscious Men, a collectively-written document from a number of men who feel deep appreciation for the gifts of the feminine as a balance to those of the masculine. This document acknowledges many thousands of years of dominance of masculine power, and offers an apology for the suppression of women, in the spirit of a fresh start. The authors do not advocate the domination of men by women or feminine energy, but feel that a balance and equal respect for both energies will allow for a new wave of evolution on our planet."
–– www.consciousmen.com
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