How to Start a PoSA Group

If you'd like to start your own PoSA support group meeting and/or 12-step isn't doing it for you, we offer free downloadable materials right here for you to get started.

We understand that when trauma first strikes, it's easiest to go join support where it already exists, that creating your own group is more challenging. We list those groups in Resources (see: Recovery Organizations).

Yet, if you live in an area with no support groups that fit your needs, you might do well to create your own PoSA group.

We have a PoSA Booklet (pdf), PoSA Circle Guidelines, Vocabulary of Emotions, and a List of PoSA Topics for your perusal and use.

Here, then are some guidelines we'd suggest using:

  1. Ask area churches or addiction treatment facilities if they'd be willing to allow you to use a meeting room once a week for a couple of hours. Explain to them that it's to be a support group for partners of sexual compulsives/addicts. Some churches will be okay with that, some won't. If they give permission, you can begin by assembling those PoSAs whom you already know and letting others know by either asking your therapist to send other PoSAs, calling therapists or addiction treatment facilities. It's important to hold the meetings in a neutral venue so that no one gets saddled with having to clean their house every week and play hostess. And it ensures that no matter who is on vacation or not feeling well, the meeting isn't dependent on any one person's home. Additionally, since the meetings are open to the public and we really have no way of gauging who will show up, it's safer to meet out in a public space.
  2. Show up and be the chairperson for the first meeting. You do not need all the answers or any answers at all to lead a meeting. Your honesty about the pain and confusion you feel will be exactly what someone needs to hear if that is where you are. The booklet we have provided in PDF format provides you with the structure and group guidelines to easily facilitate a support group of others. After the first meeting, you may take a vote on who will facilitate the next meeting or you can establish a structure democratically.

  3. Encourage the exchange of phone numbers/contact info of the members if they're comfortable sharing it, on a sheet of paper that circulates, so as to facilitate members reaching out for help/encouragement/support during the times between meetings.

  4. As a wonderful adjunct to the support group PoSA meeting, consider following the meeting with a social outing. This might be as simple as a trip to the local diner or cafe where members can enjoy fellowship with one another. In tiny bits, it is important to re-discover ourselves with others who understand.

If you have additional concerns or questions about facilitating your own PoSA meeting, Contact Us and we'll do our best to assist you.

Enjoy the strength, hope and love that grows in these groups. Here you may forge some of the strongest bonds of friendships you have ever known. What a blessing to be able to give and receive the care and love we have suffered without for far too long!

Let us know where and when you are meeting and who is the main contact person, and we will send area inquiries to you.

Table of Contents

  1. Preamble, Sharing & Opening
  2. Interpersonal Relational Trauma: (IRT)
  3. PoSA Circle Guidelines
  4. Meeting
  5. Topics
  6. Closing
  7. Emotional Vocabulary (PDF)
  8. The PoSA Booklet as a PDF