How to Start a PoSA Group

If you would wish to start your own PoSA support group meeting, we offer free downloadable materials for you to get started.

We understand that when trauma first strikes, it may be easiest to go join support where it already exists, that creating your own group is more challenging. We list those groups in Resources (see: Recovery Organizations).

If you are new to Discovery and still reeling from the pain, we would encourage you to first get some local therapy or contact us here for some one-on-one sessions to help you stabilize and begin your healing process before undertaking the formation of a new Group.

Once stabilized, if you live in an area with no support groups that fit your needs, you might do well to create your own PoSA group. The same would be true if you are offended by the co-addict model, which is currently in use at 12-step partner-oriented meetings.

Since we PoSAs need a safe space to share in, you are free to stipulate whether your meeting be open only to PoSAs with no dual-attendance at S-Group Meetings.

Here are some guidelines we suggest using to get started:

  1. Ask area churches or addiction treatment facilities if they'd be willing to allow you to use a meeting room once a week for a couple of hours. Explain to them that it's to be a support group for partners of sexual compulsives/addicts.
  2. If they give permission, you may be able to use their bulletin board to announce the formation of your meeting. The various 12-Step S-Group meeting rooms may allow use of their bulletin boards for your announcement. Then, you can begin by informing those PoSAs you already know and letting others know by either asking your therapist to send other PoSAs, and/or calling therapists or addiction treatment facilities to apprise them of your new meeting.
  3. Once you have established your location, we suggest that you create an anonymous email account specifically for this meeting (for example: posa-city@...) which may be safely posted publicly.
  4. If you agree to strictly abide by the PoSA Meeting Guidelines, send your meeting's contact email address to: and we will post this meeting on our website and also put the word out on social media (blog, twitter, FB, etc.) to help publicize the meeting. Interested PoSAs in your area may then contact you directly for specific time and location information, which you may share at your discretion.
  5. PoSA Meeting facilitators sometimes prefer to “gently interview” any unknown people prior to offering these meeting details in order to ensure the safety of the Meeting. This can be done by speaking on the phone and/or meeting the interested parties first at a park or coffee shop, if possible. *Please know that although we at Posarc share our recommendations with you Posarc assumes no responsibility for any Meeting's safety.
  6. Show up and be the chairperson for the first meeting. You do not need all the answers or any answers at all to lead a meeting; PoSA Meeting Guidelines specifically state that we not give advice or feedback. Your honesty about the pain and confusion you feel will be exactly what someone needs to hear if that is where you are. The PoSA Meeting Guidelines we have provided in pdf format provides you with the structure and group guidelines to easily facilitate a support group of others. After the first meeting, you may take a vote on who will facilitate the next meeting or you can establish a structure democratically.
  7. Circulate a sheet of paper for members who care to exchange contact info with others in the group for help/encouragement/support during the times between meetings. Respect that some members may prefer not to.

If you have additional concerns or questions about facilitating your own PoSA meeting, Contact Us and we'll do our best to assist you.

Please download and use these pdf files for use at the PoSA Meetings:

PoSA Meeting Guidelines

Vocabulary of Emotions

Enjoy the strength, hope and support that grows through sharing in these groups. What a blessing to be able to give and receive the care and support we have suffered without having for far too long!

PoSA Meetings Disclaimer