One of our PoSARC readers shared that, for her, writing poetry helps her to become aware of and start processing through the agonizing realities of her life as a POSA. She has written many poems and sent quite a few to us; this is one of my favorites.
It captures one of the most painful aspects of his behavior that a wife can endure and evokes such stark elements found in nature.
This week, a PoSA (partner of a sex addict) colleague sent me an insightful article on how to spot the different manipulations that spiritual predators use. She thought our readers would benefit from learning more about this growing trend, both because she knew I had studied abuses of power while at Seminary and because she and I both had heartbreaking experiences while partnered with "spiritual"men who were secretly sex addict/compulsives-- and whom we'd never have dated were they not so overtly spiritual (or so it seemed). It was, for both of us, a big hook.
What sets these men apart from, say, a Wall Street man where you can be fairly certain that they are somewhat used to the now-normalized presence of massage parlors, strip clubs and prostitutes in the work culture of big finance, the religious or spiritual guys position themselves on the far other end of the spectrum, as so far above such low-brow, objectifying activities. You never suspect anything is off because it would be way too incongruent with how spiritually evolved they present themselves to be.
By now we've all seen the newsletters, magazine articles and online blog posts with helpful suggestions on how to navigate the holidays with less stress.
In the days, weeks, even months after Discovery, I was lucky if I could drag myself the ten feet between my bed and the bathroom shower every few days. You know what I'm talking about.
I didn't want to read about how to attend maybe less holiday parties this season to keep my stress levels down? Attend a party? You mean, one in which I'd have to get out of my pajamas to attend? And leave my house? And talk to people? Oh, I don't think so.
The Ten-Day Debate at The Economist, with Dr. Robert Jensen
The Economist magazine sponsored an online debate on the question "Can porn be good for us?" Dr. Robert Jensen argued against pornography and Cindy Gallop argued for, with guest commentaries. At the end of the 10-day debate, readers voted 81% against pornography.
(For those not familiar with Dr. Jensen, he is a long-time mentor of mine whom I had the pleasure of interviewing four years ago on the topic of pornography and again in March of this year- see Related Content, below this blog post).
In the ten-day debate over at The Economist last week, the always-brilliant and outspoken Jensen gave these as his opening remarks:
Good News!
There is a new POSA Group that has formed in Indianapolis, Indiana! Congratulations to the woman who found a local community center that will host her new meeting. We are always thrilled to hear that local support will be available to those partners who need it to further their healing.
If you'd like more information on the logistics of that new meeting, please e-mail: posaindy@gmail.com
A POSA who herself went through hell sent us this poem yesterday and I just fell in love with it, so it's being shared with all of you.
May it help you feel the treasure that is your own big, brave, survivor heart.
~ Lili
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