POSA™ Blog

PoSARC or The Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center educates, nurtures and helps partners work with the challenges of being coupled with a sexually deceptive, chronic cheater.

Our Top 5 Reasons Never to Stress Over Valentine's Day Again

Our Top 5 Reasons Never to Stress Over Valentine's Day Again

1.) Because if you are of the population who likes their holidays to have actual religious or historical significance, it might concern you that it's ridiculously impossible to get consensus on the true origin of this holiday.

Between accounts that claim it's a liturgical holiday celebrating the martyrdom of Christian saints, and much earlier pagan history of licentious behaviors occurring on February 13-15, and medieval claims that St. Valentine did not even have any romantic connotations until Chaucer's poetry about "Valentines" in the 14th century... and too numerous a list of other historical claims, legends and folklore from around the world all laying claims to originating this holiday, the research will leave you exhausted and wishing it were Easter already.

Yes, Valentine's Day is a hybridized holiday if ever there was one.

Which basically means -- it was created to encourage shopping (see #2, below):

2.) Because the enjoyment of Valentine's Day is all predicated on shoulds and we know those don't generally bode very well for producing satisfying holiday experiences:

you should have a husband, boyfriend, a lover, a sweetheart who adores being with you
you should be the recipient of candies, red roses, a greeting card, lingerie and/or fine jewelry*
you should be taken out to a fancy candlelight dinner
you should be in the mood to make love and it should be even more romantic on Valentine's night

*fine jewelry may come in handy later

3.) Because we've never met a man who doesn't seriously abhor having to go shop for all of the above-

And who really wants gifts from a man responding to societal pressure to do his least favorite thing in the world: shopping? And paying 3x the regular price.
Not us.
(Unless, of course, it's for fine jewelry. Ideally the kind that one can trade in later. We feel it's the least he can do to start his amends process.
In fact, while we're on the amends topic, the truth is: we like post-nups even better than jewelry, but we digress)

4.) Because from Discovery onwards, lingerie means something entirely different to every POSA than it does to anyone else on the planet. And we don't necessarily love being reminded of that fact.
Hard to feign happiness opening a beribboned box from Victoria's Secret knowing our husband was even in that store, admiring drooling over the life-size posters featuring soft pornography.

If he bought it elsewhere, he gets some bonus points. But— it's possible he expects us to objectify ourselves and parade around in all that red, lacy silliness. Which might lead to his expectation of sex. Which would be a bad idea if we're still reeling from the latest Discovery.
Or-- we might wish to be intimate. Which might lead us to be withheld from. Again.
These rejections feel really crappy any day of the year but feel especially crappy on the national holiday for romance.

Yes, I think it's official-- lingerie is not our friend. At least not for the foreseeable future.

5.) (and I saved the best for last)--

Because we hope you don't actually reserve eating fine chocolates for one day of the year now, do you?

Good, we hoped not.



How will you be spending your Valentine's Day? Please share with us below in the Comments box! If you enjoyed this article, please LIKE it on Facebook via the button below or Share it and Leave a Comment via the Facebook button at the top of the article!

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Monday, 22 January 2018

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