POSA™ Blog

1.) Because if you are of the population who likes their holidays to have actual religious or historical significance, it might concern you that it's ridiculously impossible to get consensus on the true origin of this holiday.

Between accounts that claim it's a liturgical holiday celebrating the martyrdom of Christian saints, and much earlier pagan history of licentious behaviors occurring on February 13-15, and medieval claims that St. Valentine did not even have any romantic connotations until Chaucer's poetry about "Valentines" in the 14th century... and too numerous a list of other historical claims, legends and folklore from around the world all laying claims to originating this holiday, the research will leave you exhausted and wishing it were Easter already.

Yes, Valentine's Day is a hybridized holiday if ever there was one.

Which basically means -- it was created to encourage shopping (see #2, below):

Please contact the POSA who is starting this meeting at: CentralMEPOSA@mail.com for more details.

Congratulations, Maine! You now have your first POSA Meeting!

* A note: If you are interested in finding out about support groups in your own area, please check our list of meetings first before contacting us- Thanks!) 

This week, a PoSA (partner of a sex addict) colleague sent me an insightful article on how to spot the different manipulations that spiritual predators use. She thought our readers would benefit from learning more about this growing trend, both because she knew I had studied abuses of power while at Seminary and because she and I both had heartbreaking experiences while partnered with "spiritual"men who were secretly sex addict/compulsives-- and whom we'd never have dated were they not so overtly spiritual (or so it seemed). It was, for both of us, a big hook.

What sets these men apart from, say, a Wall Street man where you can be fairly certain that they are somewhat used to the now-normalized presence of massage parlors, strip clubs and prostitutes in the work culture of big finance, the religious or spiritual guys position themselves on the far other end of the spectrum, as so far above such low-brow, objectifying activities. You never suspect anything is off because it would be way too incongruent with how spiritually evolved they present themselves to be. 

By now we've all seen the newsletters, magazine articles and online blog posts with helpful suggestions on how to navigate the holidays with less stress.

In the days, weeks, even months after Discovery, I was lucky if I could drag myself the ten feet between my bed and the bathroom shower every few days. You know what I'm talking about.

I didn't want to read about how to attend maybe less holiday parties this season to keep my stress levels down? Attend a party? You mean, one in which I'd have to get out of my pajamas to attend? And leave my house? And talk to people? Oh, I don't think so.

Photo Courtesy of BradOliphantPhotography.com

The Ten-Day Debate at The Economist, with Dr. Robert Jensen

The Economist magazine sponsored an online debate on the question "Can porn be good for us?" Dr. Robert Jensen argued against pornography and Cindy Gallop argued for, with guest commentaries. At the end of the 10-day debate, readers voted 81% against pornography.

(For those not familiar with Dr. Jensen, he is a long-time mentor of mine whom I had the pleasure of interviewing four years ago on the topic of pornography and again in March of this year- see Related Content, below this blog post).

In the ten-day debate over at The Economist last week, the always-brilliant and outspoken Jensen gave these as his opening remarks: 

Good News!

There is a new POSA Group that has formed in Indianapolis, Indiana! Congratulations to the woman who found a local community center that will host her new meeting. We are always thrilled to hear that local support will be available to those partners who need it to further their healing.

If you'd like more information on the logistics of that new meeting, please e-mail: posaindy@gmail.com

Congratulations to the POSA who just began a new free, POSA support meeting in the west end of the Greater Toronto Area!

In my correspondences with this partner, she was so thoughtful and kind, I knew the Toronto area POSAs would feel fortunate to get to share with her. I also know she's very committed to healing through the damages of sex addiction in her primary relationship and understands how holding the space for other POSAs to heal in community with her will be a real advantage for all.

You can learn the particulars about the Toronto meeting by e-mailing her here: torontoposa@gmail.com

If you are curious about whether meetings exist in YOUR area, please check the listings on this page:
http://www.posarc.com/resources/posa-meetings) before e-mailing us here to enquire.