POSA™ Blog

PoSARC or The Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center educates, nurtures and helps partners work with the challenges of being coupled with a sexually deceptive, chronic cheater.

A Look Back at our Highlights in 2017

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As 2017 draws to a close, we thought we'd share our list of the year's more uplifting highlights with our readers. Enjoy...

As we enter our tenth year, PoSARC is now being read in over 120 countries with a growing subscription list of readers in many of them. We're beyond thrilled; we know we couldn't have gotten this far without the many emails that arrive here from our readers with their ideas, questions, newsworthy articles, their personal stories and updates, and their suggestions.

We also grew because of the feedback we receive from PoSA and Ex-PoSA Support Group leaders, as well as from the generous time spent by readers leaving comments on both our blog and our Facebook page. Our private coaching/consulting clients teach us about courage, resilience and tenacity.

Lastly, we are grateful and humbled by the donations we receive. These donations help champion our work, keeps our site ad-free, and us, alliance-free. That, in turn, allows us to share our opinions and observations freely. THANK YOU, one and all. We've got so many projects planned for the next few months, we're very excited to get going on them. We hope you'll join us. 

Here, then are just a few more of the many developments we considered outstanding in 2017: 

1. The Women's March

The precedent-setting Women's March, January 20, 2017. You saw it on the news and maybe you even marched, over five million women did worldwide. Many of our readers sent us their solidarity photos. Particularly heartwarming were the photos of our readers shown marching with their daughters and friends. Women supporting women make the most gorgeous of pictures!

We're now ready for another Women's March on January 20, 2018. Find a march in your area by searching "womens march january 20 2018 + your area" if none is nearby, contact: https://www.womensmarch.com and help start one.

2. #MeToo Movement

The other big news this year, of course, is the #MeToo movement, with outpourings of sexual misconduct cases shaking up Hollywood, Silicon Valley, the news media and Capitol Hill.
Standing ovations are in order for the women who had—and continue to have—the courage to stand up to sexual abuse as they publicly name their perpetrators and the crimes that these perpetrators committed. Here's to 2018 seeing the continuation of this long overdue and necessary purge. We are certain that there are many capable women better able to perform each toppled males' position. 

3. Goodbye Hugh Hefner

Continuing the theme of creepy, entitled men: goodbye and good riddance to Hugh Hefner.
His Playboy empire institutionalized pornography, implanting misogyny into the mainstream culture for more than half a century. Sadly, his son will be furthering his empire, but that just means that we will double down on our resistance and on our efforts to educate about the female-hatred that is pornography. 

4. Culture Reframed

We're happy to report that the tireless anti-pornography activist Dr. Gail Dines has stepped down from thirty years in academia to devote herself full-time to her organization, Culture Reframed, which fights against the normalization of pornography/the sexual exploitation industries. This year, she'll be unveiling a new secular program to help teachers and parents protect children as they come of age in this pornified culture. 

5. Men Taking a Stand

This year, the popular and well-respected feminist ally, therapist, bestselling author and training institute leader Terrence Real emerged as another courageous voice, writing about the escalation of virulent misogyny and its impact on society and launched a therapist training course, Facing the Crisis of Masculinity, on how to work with toxic masculinity.

He invited the outspoken author, sociology professor and feminist ally, Dr. Michael Kimmel, into the discourse on male anger. Dr. Kimmel has been publishing articles and speaking out against pornography since the 1980s, even creating his own academic course on pornography-as-misogyny which he teaches his university students at SUNY, Stony Brook.
Men taking a stand against the harms that men do to women is not popular—especially among men. We are pleased to have these two men as allies and hope that they continue the work to make the world less misogynistic and violent. 

6. The Sanctuary of Families Anti-Trafficking Conference

Attending The Sanctuary for Families' Anti-Trafficking Conference, in New York City by an incredible panel of women, all dedicated to eradicating the sex trafficking trade, was indeed a highlight. As intense as much of the evening was, my heart got a lift when I finally spent time after the conference with someone I'd wanted to meet for over a year, the outspoken, funny and brilliant Dr. Julie Bindel, author of The Pimping of Prostitution- Abolishing the Sex Work Myth. This book dispels every tired, patriarchal trope about the euphemistically-named 'sex work;' Julie Bindel names the agenda behind the sex industry's marketing schemes to legitimize prostitution as equal to, say, being a schoolteacher or working as a dentist. What boss other than a pimp would threaten a "worker's" family to make a "worker" compliant?


I was also glad to get some time to talk with another panelist after the conference, Rachel Lloyd, author of the critically acclaimed book Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls are Not for Sale.
Her advocacy work on behalf of trafficked girls like she was at 13, inspires us to take our stories, however traumatic, and use them for good in the world.  

We feel so privileged to meet, know and work with so many powerhouse women committed to substantive changes for all women everywhere. They know that abuses perpetrated upon any woman, anywhere, make all women everywhere less safe in the face of male entitlement, violence and perpetration.  


There's so much more to report but it's New Year's Eve and we know you've got festivities to attend, so we'll share just one more piece of good news.

7. An Incredible Story of Partner Justice

We want to report about the first-ever partner—that we know of, anyway—to be approved for SSDI, or Social Security Disability Insurance, for the emotional, psychological and physical abuses inflicted on her by ex-husband during their marriage. Yes. Amazing.
Because we are familiar with her story, it's important to say ahead of time, that nothing about this was easy for her, nor fast, by any stretch. This partner lost her health and formidable career due to her husband's sexually deceptive, abusive behaviors.
And, this SSDI win is a huge victory for her. Perhaps other partners can glean some inspiring takeaways from her story when we post our interview with her here in January. We'll be asking her to address some questions about how the whole process led up to such a fortuitous conclusion.  

 Till then, sit tight and please Subscribe so you don't miss this revolutionary story, plus everything else we have planned for you next year. Which starts in a few hours.
If you like what you read here, please tap the Like and Share buttons. That ensures our work gets out to others, we need your support getting the word out.

Now, we want to hear what was special about your 2017. You may comment anonymously, but please do share in the Comments section below, or on our Facebook page.

Wishing all our readers a peaceful New Year,
Lili, Cassie and Terre....with the rest of Team PoSARC 

My Son Turned 9 Years Old This Week…
 

Comments 8

Guest - Carren on Monday, 01 January 2018 20:17

Yes to Peggy..... “The number of news men and women who either did little to no comment/report/opine about the devastation that sexual misconduct/predating/addiction/psychopathy ???? has on the spouse and or partner and children was astonishing.” I did not see any articles about families. I would like to see us part of the MeToo group.

Yes to Peggy..... “The number of news men and women who either did little to no comment/report/opine about the devastation that sexual misconduct/predating/addiction/psychopathy ???? has on the spouse and or partner and children was astonishing.” I did not see any articles about families. I would like to see us part of the MeToo group.
Guest - Peggy on Monday, 01 January 2018 04:42

Hi Lili,
Thank you so much for your kindness, as always! Thank you for the help along the way! Looking forward to what's new in 2018! Best wishes for continued success. In my heart and prayers...
Peggy

Hi Lili, Thank you so much for your kindness, as always! Thank you for the help along the way! Looking forward to what's new in 2018! Best wishes for continued success. In my heart and prayers... Peggy
Guest - Ellie Dickson on Monday, 01 January 2018 02:45

You rock Lili! Keep doing what you're doing. Finalized my divorce from sex addict husband (now, thankfully, wasband) of 25 years. Making my way in the world... working on telling my story, which hopefully, will be a page-turner ;-)

You rock Lili! Keep doing what you're doing. Finalized my divorce from sex addict husband (now, thankfully, wasband) of 25 years. Making my way in the world... working on telling my story, which hopefully, will be a page-turner ;-)
Guest - Barbara on Sunday, 31 December 2017 22:32

For me, 2017 was both horrible and wonderful.

Horrible: I learned my husband is addicted to pornography which was devastating.

Wonderful: PoSarc helped me understand I didn’t cause it and I can’t change my husband BUT I can change myself.
I started a POSA support group in early November with the guidance of Lili Bee (thank you). The group began with one person
(besides myself) and in two months it has grown to seven. I am believing 2018 will be a great year as I expect the group to grow. I found a venue for FREE, with free coffee, tea and security in the building and parking lot. Good deal!
The women in the group are finding support and gaining courage to be all they can be.
I believe it is the third POSA group in Canada and I hope to see many more.
Happy New Year to everyone at PoSarc and THANK YOU for your dedication and hard work.

For me, 2017 was both horrible and wonderful. Horrible: I learned my husband is addicted to pornography which was devastating. Wonderful: PoSarc helped me understand I didn’t cause it and I can’t change my husband BUT I can change myself. I started a POSA support group in early November with the guidance of Lili Bee (thank you). The group began with one person (besides myself) and in two months it has grown to seven. I am believing 2018 will be a great year as I expect the group to grow. I found a venue for FREE, with free coffee, tea and security in the building and parking lot. Good deal! The women in the group are finding support and gaining courage to be all they can be. I believe it is the third POSA group in Canada and I hope to see many more. Happy New Year to everyone at PoSarc and THANK YOU for your dedication and hard work.
Guest - Peggy on Sunday, 31 December 2017 22:18

I found the following special about 2017 . This year exposed a notable truth about the times we live in. The number of news men and women who either did little to no comment/report/opine about the devastation that sexual misconduct/predating/addiction/psychopathy ???? has on the spouse and or partner and children was astonishing. Very few news agencies discussed what the partners and kids of these people go through when these behaviors are exposed. It leaves a lot of opportunity in 2018 for creating awareness for the families (not just the victims)impacted by such conduct.
On a more positive note, I made it to the other side in 2017. It took me a good 6 years but I did it! Happy New Year!

I found the following special about 2017 . This year exposed a notable truth about the times we live in. The number of news men and women who either did little to no comment/report/opine about the devastation that sexual misconduct/predating/addiction/psychopathy ???? has on the spouse and or partner and children was astonishing. Very few news agencies discussed what the partners and kids of these people go through when these behaviors are exposed. It leaves a lot of opportunity in 2018 for creating awareness for the families (not just the victims)impacted by such conduct. On a more positive note, I made it to the other side in 2017. It took me a good 6 years but I did it! Happy New Year!
Guest - Lili Bee on Sunday, 31 December 2017 23:36

Hi Peggy -- Totally agree on your observations...and welcome to the other side of Survival, 2018
A long road, that's for sure, but so worth everything you've invested in you & your kids pulling through.

Hi Peggy -- Totally agree on your observations...and welcome to the other side of Survival, 2018 :) A long road, that's for sure, but so worth everything you've invested in you & your kids pulling through.
Guest - Debi on Sunday, 31 December 2017 21:57

Thank you for all that you do. You are truly changing the world for women everywhere! Rock on.

Thank you for all that you do. You are truly changing the world for women everywhere! Rock on.
Guest - Lili Bee on Sunday, 31 December 2017 23:47

♥️ Thank you, Debi -We appreciate your kind words so much ✨

♥️ Thank you, Debi -We appreciate your kind words so much ✨
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